I realise I haven't posted anything in a while because it took me a while to figure out how to post a new post.
Have been in a foul mood lately. Family, friends, academics, they all seem to suck. I think I am hitting rock bottom. Or possibly already there but in denial.
I do this all the time. I remain blissfully ignorant of litle things until one day it hits me and I start whining in my head and to anyon who'd listen. People who I feel blessed to call my family sometimes act like absolute bitches. They are demanding, selfish, ignorant and possibly smelly, and I notice this just at the point of my happiness peak.
It's not just family but friends too. One moment 'You my little angel, my sister, my soul mate' the next it's like 'God, I hate you, you evil manipulative bitch'. I hate this. Can I never be secure and consitently so?
Or am I fated to be the one with the dysfunctional relationships? Am I dysfunctonal? Bob?
I have been faring miserably in my internals. Oh yeah icing on the cake.
Gaah. I am not suicidal, but sometimes a break from this world would be a welcome relief.
I do no understand anymore.
I hope I soon try not to again and live in ignorant bliss.
